Is Your Life a Series of “to do’ lists?
Mine is!
I recently grabbed one of my old notebooks and decided to flip back through its pages. It struck me how many ‘to do’ lists were in this one notebook and I realized how much I rely on ‘to do’ lists to keep me on track. I have notebooks and notepads randomly situated in my house for when an idea hits that I must write down, or I receive a phone call providing me with a new task to complete. In addition to these scattered books and notepads I have a daytimer that I keep by my side when I’m at work. The daytimer is one centralized place for the scheduling of all my work and meetings. Whether it’s a notebook, a notepad or my daytimer, I use each to write down my ‘to do’s’.
What does this mean? It means my life is full and I don’t want to overlook something of importance. The added bonus is that when the tasks are complete, I tick them off. This gives me a record of all that I have accomplished, not only on that one ‘to do’ list, but over the years.
A friend and colleague of mine taught me an effective system for my ‘to do’ lists. When she has a task to do, she jots it down with a small empty square or box beside it on its left; then when the task is completed, she puts a check mark inside the box. This indicates with a simple glance which tasks are still to be addressed, and which are completed. Ticking inside the boxes gives a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.
A Sample ‘to do’ list
Now, back to the ‘to do’ lists. One of the lists I happened to revisit tells quite the story. It was from August 2022. It looked like this:
- Respite Ministry
- Send Theresa a zoom invitation
- Edit Breeda’s mini episode
- Send Breeda’s information to contact at the theatre
- Review Theresa’s latest information for upcoming podcast episodes
- Edit Debbie’s podcast episode
- Course for Elder College – work on power point and material
- Upload Breeda’s mini episode
- Send Thank you card to Rita
- Schedule Jodi’s episode to publish at midnight
- Write letter to brothers
- Send video to Jackie and Brad
Let me explain a few of the items on the list. At the time I wrote this list I was in the beginning stages of developing a caregiver respite ministry – so this list item was to remind me to get the volunteers together for a brainstorming session. The next item reminded me that Theresa Wilbanks and I were in the middle of our limited series podcast, the Self-Caregiving Strategies podcast. A podcast that we co-hosted; and I needed to send her the zoom invitation so we could record our next episode. As the Island Treasures podcast host and producer, I needed to stay on track with editing the most recent episode – at the time that was Breeda Miller’s mini episode “The Unplanned Journey (with Mrs. Kelly)“. Back to the list, Theresa would send me the notes for the upcoming episode which I needed to review in preparation for our conversation of that episode’s strategy. Next on the list was to continue to edit the podcast episode recently recorded with Debbie Compton.
Reading through this list I was reminded of the work I had done to prepare for a course I was co-teaching for a local College. My contributions were from the social work and caregiver consultant perspective and the co-teacher was bringing the legal perspective to our course. In addition to my content, I was responsible for creating the Power Points. I was surprised that this had slipped my memory as it had been a very exciting venture at the time. Given how busy this time of my life appears to be it’s no wonder I had to remind myself to upload an episode and to send thank you cards, letters and a video; and to verify everything was set up for the next podcast to release at midnight. That podcast episode was “Stop, Pause, and Reflect” with Jodi Kay Benusa.
I was amazed to see this list and all the tasks and responsibilities I was involved with and accomplishing at that particular time. It made me think of caregivers and all the tasks and responsibilities on their caregiving plates, at one given time. I also thought of how often I encourage caregivers to keep a journal.
Journal Writing for Caregivers
Not only does a journal provide a safe place for caregivers to release their pent-up emotions, ‘release it to the page’, so to speak, but it also offers a place to keep accurate records of changes in their loved one’s behavior, while staying current with their medications, diagnoses, etc.
Having a daytimer in addition to a journal, helps to keep track of all their loved one’s and their own appointments. Without this ‘external hard drive’ to manage all that’s going on each and every caregiving-filled moment…of each day, they may spin out of control. A journal or several notebooks can help a caregiver manage all those plates they are spinning – plates that represent their many tasks and caregiving responsibilities. The good news is that journals or notebooks do not have to be costly to acquire and utilize. When a caregiver doesn’t have much time to write things down, simply jot key points down; perhaps adopt the empty box beside the task method so you can go back and tick it off when you’ve managed to complete it; or make a brief note of an observed change. When noting changes in your loved ones behaviours, symptoms or condition, it helps to include the date you observed the change for the first time. Keeping this brief record of observations can reveal patterns; patterns that may provide vital information to relay to your loved one’s primary care team.
Looking Back
As I looked back on that rather busy, August 2022 ‘to-do’ list, I was shocked at how much I was doing at the time. What was not indicated in the list were the appointments I had with caregivers, as I kept those meetings separate in my work daytimer. I was astounded that I managed to keep it all together.
For caregivers, the journals you keep, possess records of all you had the time to write down amid your busy and ofttimes hectic days. When you have the time to look back in your journals or notebooks read all that you were able to accomplish during those times. I’m guessing it will shock you. Also, you may be amazed at how effective it was to write things down to help you make it through the blur of days, months, or even years. Those times when you were entrenched in caregiving and didn’t know how you could make it through the next minute, let alone the days, months and years you did.
Moving Forward
When lists and tasks are overwhelming – there’s a strategy that I have adopted to help me through prioritizing – it goes like this:
- What must you do?
- What should you do?
- What could you do?
Only do the ‘must!’
Should you find yourself needing some guidance on journal writing, may I suggest Lori Ramos Lemasters book “You’re a Caregiver, Not a Saint: Yeah, Write!” I spoke with Lori in the Island Treasures podcast episode called “Therapeutic Journaling through Caregiving“.
Welcoming a New Year
As we usher in 2025, we may be excited to think about New Year Resolutions. If you are seeking a way to feel more organized, empowered, and less stressed in the new year, ‘to do’ lists and journaling may be a great practice to incorporate into your life, especially when caregiving. What better time to start!
