It had been a while, in fact our bikes had been dormant for the past two years, so my husband and I were quite excited to get out and about again on the bike trails. We hadn’t been using our bikes simply because we no longer had a bike rack. When we sold our vehicle, we’d sold our bike rack as it was specifically designed for that vehicle and did not fit our new vehicle. At the time we sold the bike rack – our thoughts were focused on the sale of both the vehicle and the bike rack. We hadn’t considered we’d miss the bike rack in months to come.
But, I Missed Riding My Bike
Saturdays are days that I try to keep free from commitments to allow for spontaneity and a change from the weekly tasks: providing my husband and I with the opportunity for self-care with freedom to take a long hike, go for a drive, take the kayak out, go out for coffee or even a leisurely grocery shop. With our busy schedules and the speedy passage of time, I was quite surprised that it had been two years since we last incorporated bike rides into our Saturdays. Then, one Saturday, I saw our dusty bikes leaning against the back wall in our garage and I remembered how much I enjoy riding my bike. I wondered why we weren’t bike riding anymore.
The answer was simple – we no longer had the means to transport our bikes to our favourite trails.
With that realization, my husband did some research for a solution to meet our needs. First, he checked marketplace, then online flyers where he found a bike rack that would work with our current vehicle and meet our needs perfectly. We were able to pick it up that same day! Thankfully he’s a handy kind of guy as he ensured the bikes were ready to ride again, inflating the tires and checking the brakes. Before I knew it he had attached the new bike rack to the vehicle and together we strapped our bikes onto the rack and by midafternoon we were driving to one of our favourite trails in the local hills.
Out of Practice
But when I mounted my bike, I quickly realized I was out of practice. Of course I remembered how to pedal. I recalled how exhilarating it was to go fast but only when I felt it was safe to do so – that meant on a smooth, even surface with no obstacles. Being somewhat rusty I needed to reacquaint myself with the realities of bike riding on the trails of Vancouver Island; where it’s unlikely that the woodland trails will be smooth, straight, have even surfaces and no obstacles. I found myself quite tense, fearing that the reality of being out of practice and having slower reaction times to the obstacles along the trail may negatively impact my experience. It was while on that bike ride that the similarities of caregiving popped into my mind.
Applications to Caregiving
We may have the equipment we anticipate we’ll need to start on our caregiving journey. We have a desire to help, a day planner, a list of resources, practical supplies which may include hand sanitizer, latex gloves, face shields, incontinence products, items for wound care, you name it. We may even be excited about starting this journey to help a loved one – that is, until the reality of what’s involved hits us.
With the bike ride, we had a route to follow on a trail that conveniently had maps posted on signposts along the way. We had our bicycle helmets on, and we were wearing appropriate clothing so nothing would get caught up in our chains and our bodies could move flexibly with the bike’s movements. We also had our water bottles to keep up with our physical need for hydration.
We Felt Ready!
Then we got started. The path wasn’t straight. It had sudden turns requiring quick reactions in order to navigate them; and failure to make a turn would mean an encounter with a tree, whether brushing against it, or abruptly stopping to avoid hitting it head on, or falling off the bike completely. The path wasn’t smooth. It was strewn with rocks and tree roots in all sorts of configurations and heights.
There were steep hills to climb and descend. Surprisingly, I found it easier to ride uphill, pushing those pedals as hard as I could. If I lost momentum, I could get off the bike and walk it up the rest of the incline. Descending the hills was another story. The speed meant I had to be extremely focused to maintain control of my bike and avoid the same rocks and roots that were prevalent on other parts of the trail. I must mention that my bike has always had squeaky brakes. So my trepidation and attempt to control my descent was evident to any other hikers or bikers on the trails. Thankfully the brakes are effective, but the sound the squeak makes betrays my confidence, because whenever they are squeaking there’s an audible reminder (for all to hear) that I’m likely not in absolute control.
More Caregiving Analogies
We envision the road before us, unlike with the bicycle trails we don’t have the convenience of having a trail map with periodic signs indicating the next route to take. We know there will be medical appointments, changes in our loved one’s symptoms, their abilities, and our responsibilities. We have questions, worries, doubts and moments of uncertainty of what is around the next corner. No matter how we feel going into our caregiving journey, we realize once we’re in it we have momentum, which can be a good thing, but it may mean we’re not able to stop quickly or make the necessary shift to avoid hitting a road block. There are times we may lose some momentum, needing to catch our breath before we continue. Ascending the hill of caregiving may seem easier than descending – as when we are applying full throttle, thrusting forward in the tasks that require our complete focus and commitment we have little opportunity to let our proverbial foot off the pedal as we strive to the top of the hill. These are the times when you find you are fully immersed and intently attentive to the tasks at hand, entrenched in your caregiving role.
As a caregiver, we have to be vigilant, constantly watching out for obstacles that can cause us to lose our balance, fall or crash. This adds a level of intensity that saps our strength and can cause extra muscle tension – it can even cause scrapes and bruises. No matter how prepared for the caregiving experience we may think we are, there will be unexpected interruptions along the way – often requiring advocacy or problem-solving agility.
Even though I was happy to be out on the trails again and fully enjoyed the exhilaration of the experience, I was exhausted at the end of the ride. My muscles were fatigued. I was relieved that I hadn’t hit any of the rocks or trees along the path; nor had I been thrown off my bike by the protruding tree roots. I was surprised that I had managed to maintain control when speeding down the hills with a boost of adrenaline; yet I had felt completely out of my element.
Road Hazards and Signposts
Whether riding the trails or navigating a caregiving journey, you may find yourself challenged by hazards and road blocks that require immediate intervention. Having a plan to navigate upcoming hazards can certainly improve an experience. As a caregiver, what could that plan look like? Where are the signposts pointing you toward the supports and resources you may need to help devise a caregiving plan? In the Island Treasures podcast episode “Roadblocks and Signposts for Caregivers“, Sarah Merriman shares her experience facing roadblocks and how she now helps caregivers by signposting them to helpful resources they may need in their caregiving experience. Even if you find yourself feeling ill-equipped or overwhelmed by the realities of caregiving, knowing where to turn, what hazards to avoid and being prepared can certainly enhance a caregiving journey.
In retrospect and from the comfort (and safety) of my home, I can say that the downhill speeding on my bike was a thrilling experience – yet it reminded me to stay focused and composed even in challenging circumstances. If you find yourself in the challenging circumstances of caregiving, perhaps feeling ill-equipped or overwhelmed by its realities; remember to stay as focused as possible to help you know where to turn, what hazards to avoid and how to prioritize your own physical needs along the way. If you find you have squeaky brakes that draw attention to your need to slow down or if you lose momentum getting up the hill and need to get off and ‘walk your bike’, remember that’s ok.
