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When did you last stop and think about something you did and wonder if it was a brave thing to do?

For me, it was while I was gardening, weeding specifically. I was going after those weeds and their roots with reckless abandon. I was absorbed in what I was doing and suddenly it occurred to me that I wouldn’t be digging in the dirt if it wasn’t for my gardening gloves. I don’t like getting my hands dirty and I’m not too keen on accidentally touching a worm or a beetle, or being pricked by thorns either. That’s when I realized that wearing gardening gloves makes me brave – in the realm of gardening, that is!

I started to think about other scenarios where I was empowered to do something that wasn’t easy for me to do without external support. I though of how wearing a power jacket bolstered my confidence for job interviews or when I made presentations. I realized it wasn’t just me who felt this type of empowerment from external sources. Others felt it too.

Little Children

We’ve likely all seen a young child when they are seated at the nurse’s office to receive a needle, or at the dentist’s office, their lower lip may be quivering, but they are praised for being brave. This accolade comes when they were as stoic as they could be given the situation. They didn’t squirm or run away, although every ounce of their being wanted them to! We’ve also likely seen little children at swimming pools or the beach wearing water wings or water rings. These supports seemed to make them fearless when entering the water; even those enjoying the water who were screaming that they didn’t want to get wet before donning their floatation supports. For me, putting on a personal floatation device also helps remove some of the fear associated with being on the water. The fear is still there as is the need for being water-wise, but having something tangible to reduce the danger makes tackling something out of my comfort zone less daunting.

We may not be parasailing or rappelling down buildings but we face situations where our anxiety and trepidation may feel equally debilitating. That’s why it’s helpful to have a supporter, encourager, mentor, cheerleader or even someone who tells us they’re praying for us – that may help us feel a little more brave when facing challenges or challenging tasks.

Ninja Mindset

I’ve embraced a Ninja mentality for overcoming mind blocks – those mental blocks and limits I’ve placed on my own physical abilities. Watching ‘Ninja Warrior’ shows on TV (a sports entertainment reality type show where competitors are challenged to overcome obstacles that test their athleticism, balance and body strength), helps me see what the human body is capable of. I doubt I’ll ever be swinging off trapeze-type obstacles or climbing up salmon ladders, but I do step across log bridges, over mountain streams. It’s not the same thing, but because of seeing what others’ bodies can do, I know that my body is capable of so much more than I think it is. That in itself, helps me take a longer stride onto the log bridge while I keep my balance to the other side. So the Ninja Mindset makes me brave, or at least braver!

Braveness in Caregiving

When it comes to caregiving, folks are often called out of their comfort zone, and into doing things that require courage. Do they need a Ninja Mindset? Perhaps, but what they do need is to know that they are not alone. This can help them muster up their courage. What better place to feel they are not alone than in the centre of a caregiver support group. A place where they can tap into the wisdom of other caregivers, glean from their experiences, and feel buoyed up by their support to tackle challenges associated with caregiving or with supporting aging parents.

Connecting with a caregiving consultant or trusted friend who is intune with the realities of caregiving can also help.

I recently spoke with Amy Friesen of Tea and Toast as she has written a chapter in ‘The Caregiver’s Advocate: A Complete Guide to Support and Resources”, by Debbie DeMoss Compton that addresses tackling difficult conversations. She titled her chapter “When It’s Time for the Talk: Turn Awkward Conversations into Actionable Eldercare Planning”. Having these awkward or difficult conversations takes courage. We need to be brave! It may also help to involve a professional, a coach or consultant or trusted friend who can be objective when it’s time for these discussions.

A few years ago, Jennifer Richey was a guest on the Island Treasures podcast in the episode called “The Brave Caregiver“. Over her ten years of personal caregiving, she has dealt with caregiving issues related to veterans, organ transplants, in-home caregiving, home modifications for aging in place, assisted living and hospice; providing her with lots of opportunities to be brave. You’ll want to listen to the episode to learn of one more aspect that required her being brave with a decision that she and her partner faced. As a professional coach and consultant who works with caregivers, Jennifer recognized that the demands of caregiving and the bravery required took on a completely different flavor when she was the caregiver.

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Whether you’re entering a trying phase in your life and need to bolster your courage, find what can help you do that – a power jacket, a favourite cuddly toy, an advocate or support group. This can help you become a braver person, and when caregiving it can give courage to help you become a brave caregiver. For me, by donning a pair of gardening gloves I conquered my fear of getting my hands dirty, entering the environment of worms and beetles with my fingers, and having my skin punctured by rose bush thorns. Bravery looks different for each person and in each situation. It is not reckless but helps us face and endure trying situations. Like Nelson Mandela said, it does not remove our fear – but helps us conquer that fear.