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I recently wrote a post on social media to inform that I was placing my business, Alongside Caregiver Consulting, on hiatus. Stepping back from my business has not been an easy decision. I recognize that I need to take some time to pause, reflect, and make space for what’s next. In my post, I affirmed that my heart remains with family caregivers, and even though I’m taking a break, the podcasts, blog posts, videos, articles and resources are still available on my website to support caregivers.

As I am changing gears in my life, I am reminded of the lessons I’ve learned from changing gears on both a car with a standard transmission and a mountain bike.

Learning to drive was fun for me and I wanted to master a stick shift because my older brothers both could drive a standard… and their cars had standard transmissions. Plus it was kind of cool to master this skill.

I consciously made the effort and had great tutelage from both of my older siblings. One, however, taught me from the perspective of a rally car driver! His lessons were exciting. One take-away was learning how to shift gears without engaging the clutch… and without wrecking the engine (it was his car afterall!) With determined precision, I learned to match the revs needed to move from one gear to the next. It was smooth. It was magical. I felt like I had mastered a secret skill making driving even more fun.

Not all life transitions are smooth! My experience shifting gears on a mountain bike provides a perfect example, as this type of shifting gears does not often go well for me. I can be enjoying a bike ride (see blog post “Let’s Go For a Bike Ride“) but when I need to shift gears I often have trouble. It’s not that I don’t know how to do it, it’s just that I don’t have the right technique. There is a fair bit of clunking that happens before the chain is mounted properly and my bike finds its new gear. This transition on my bike causes me stress. The good news is that I do succeed; but it is seldom a smooth transition and it makes the experience less enjoyable.

As a teenager and young adult I equated driving with independence. Decades later I see that many elders also subsribe to this equation, which is why so many aging folks find it difficult to surrender their driver’s license. For me, after years of driving many miles for my work in rural areas with varying weather and road conditions, some of the novelty of driving has worn off, however, I continue to value the independence that comes with driving—holding a license and having access to a car. At the same time, I have deep empathy for those who’ve had to give up that freedom for age-related reasons.

As I find myself ready to shift gears in life, I reflect on the ‘skill’ of smoothly shifting gears without using the clutch, and I think how life transitions can also bring joy when they are executed with such precision and finesse. I have been thinking about this transition into retirement for quite some time and as a business owner, it is important to have an exit strategy prepared. What does that look like?

What does my transition look like? Is it going to be smooth and bring me joy, or is it going to cause me stress?

For the time being, my website and its content will remain available to caregivers looking for helpful resources. The existing podcast library will also stay accessible, offering a wealth of valuable content across a range of topics to inform, encourage, and empower caregivers facing challenging circumstances. Closer to home, I have ceased taking on new clients and after several years, I will no longer be facilitating support groups. I will, however, keep leading a respite ministry; playing piano at a local nursing home; and embracing some of the new opportunities that have emerged in such a natural and unexpected way.

I’ve been making videos for years—it’s been my go-to creative outlet. Along the way, I’ve picked up solid videography and production skills, and it’s opening doors to doing work for others. By changing gears, I have time to invest in new projects. One such project is a video for a Celebration of Life. What an awesome project!

I felt honored by the family who trusted me with photographs of their loved one representing important moments throughout his life. Many of the photos were the heirloom photographs families treasure; only a few were digitally provided to me. As I worked on this project I could feel such deep love emanating from the faces in the pictures. This project impacted me greatly and it reminded me of the importance of taking pictures with our loved ones – as Rayna Neises encouraged us to do in her Island Treasures podcast episode “Rayna’s Caregiving Wisdom: No Regrets and Cherished Memories“.

It also reminded me of the importance of capturing our loved one’s stories… before it’s too late. In another Island Treasures podcast episode, titled “Preserving Memories“, Beth Douglas speaks of the importance of capturing memories. She says,

I think it’s important for people to be able to share their stories partly because when they’re gone, their stories are gone.

We can all capture memories, especially if we have a cell phone, because then we have a camera available and we simply can click a button to start recording. These videos and photographs are keepsakes. They are treasures that can be passed on to future generations… and they can also bring us comfort after our loved one passes.

In my conversation with Beth, I mentioned video footage that I had taken from the trip my mother-in-law and I embarked on when I was her caregiver – over twenty-five years earlier. With my passion for making videos, years later, I highlighted parts of the original video in little vignettes to share with my in-laws. I talk about this caregiving trip in the Island Treasures podcast episode called “Lady in Waiting“. Several of the family members who saw the new video had not seen their mom in any videos. Their reaction and the video keepsake were priceless!

Finding My New Gear

In addition to videography, I am getting reacquainted with my love for music. Before making the decision to change gears I had deferred an invitation to join one of our church’s Worship Teams. Now I’m singing again, and reconnecting with playing my guitar. It’s so much fun.

I’m still getting used to the feel of this new gear—learning its pace, its demands, and its possibilities. It’s early yet, but the transition so far has been smooth, and the journey feels steady and full of promise—like I’ve found the right road at just the right time. I’m bringing along my guitar, taking rest breaks when I need them, and making space for the people who will make this new chapter worthwhile. Yes, it feels like another smooth changing of gears!